Tomorrow

I am going to read my letter to myself to A tomorrow.

I am accepting this need to grieve and to mother myself, to mother little me.

I tried reading it out loud tonight and writing it out and I practiced feeling the emotions and broke down crying.

I still want to share it with her but man is it ever going to be exhausting. 

I shouldn’t have to mother myself. And I am letting myself be mad about that. 

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13 thoughts on “Tomorrow

  1. You shouldn’t have to mother yourself – and, you shouldn’t have to grieve your inner child. It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair. And it’s okay to sit with that.
    It’s not fair, and yet a lot of us on WP are going through it right alongside you. I know that doesn’t make it better, but I’m hoping that it helps in some way, to know we are with you in this. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. No, you shouldn’t have to mother yourself. It is the most unfair part of attachment trauma work, in my own personal experience. What we want and feel we need is to have someone nurture us. But, the only thing that ultimately works is for us to learn to nurture ourselves. Only then are we truly ready to find relationships in which we can be nurtured in a healthy way. It feels monumentally unfair. But, this is one of life’s biggest lessons. Life is just not fair. Period.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “I shouldn’t have to mother myself.” I relate to this so much. It stirs up a lot of anger and pain. I don’t like having to read letters out loud to my therapist… I feel so shy and nervous doing that for some reason.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re right, you shouldn’t have to, and you have the right to be mad about that. I’d be mad too. Grief is hard, but it’s harder to live with it and never process it than to go through it with a good therapist. Also, I tend to practice reading things alone before I read in session too.

    Liked by 1 person

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