I’m feeling like I’m not worth it right now. Not worth the effort to love, not worth the effort to be around. Like I am not worth the effort of going through therapy.
I imagine it takes a lot of effort to be my friend. Or my fiancé – and yet these people think I’m worth it.
I don’t think I’m worth it… Which is why I’m seeking out yoga therapy as a complement to my current practice with A.
The yoga therapist I was in touch with today for an intake phone call was lovely. We talked about the importance of creating an internal space where it is safe to tell my story.
She will use invitational or inquisitive language to invite me into a conversation with my body, learning how to listen to myself and trust my instincts again through a combination of therapy and yoga, with no hands on assists. It’s a no touch environment.
It amazes me that over and over my care team and friends and fiancé think I’m worth caring for because honestly I don’t think I’m worth it. I think they’re all batshit crazy to love me and care for me like they do.
I feel like my posts aren’t worth it – which is ironic because I’m posting that. I don’t know. I just don’t know.