Feeling Better

I am feeling better. Granted, I’m still absolutely swamped, but things don’t seem so dire. I got quite a bit done tonight in terms of work, and yes it’s 12:50am and I have to be up in 5 hours but it’s done.

Husband also helped me with wedding tables and the budget. So a lot has been finished there. Tomorrow I have to email the lady doing our stationary and also the photo booth people with our outline and the dietary restrictions lady, and I have to pay basically everyone.

Financially I’m in a bit of a mess but I am still going to see A this week and twice next week and then we will have to see for November. I’m hoping once a week is doable. I’ll give up almost anything to make that happen. 

I am still really emotional but doing better after yesterday’s meltdown, and I have printed off yesterday’s post to give to A. We will see. We will see.

I really need October to end. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I’m taking this one day at a time and hoping that I can pull through until November. I need a break. I need to take care of myself. And that’s not happening right now. 

Instead I’ve turned into perfect me – defensive mechanism me. Oh, and I drank a bottle of wine tonight. I do believe my text to husband was “I am stressed and have too much to do. I am drinking and don’t want to hear about it.” 

So at least I told him? Sigh. Sometimes this feels impossible. 

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