I’m about to lose A. Just when we have reconnected. Because I’m not meant to live a happy life.
You know that feeling you have when you know something is coming. It’s inevitable. You feel it.
I have a meeting with my biggest client in an hour. The one that pays for my therapy. And they changed the time. And they changed how we are connecting. And they asked me to call someone else. And they haven’t been responding to my emails. Our contract is up for renewal.
I’ve been here before 1000 times with my own clients at the agency.
They’re about to quit.
Which means I immediately have to stop seeing A. Maintaining this client is my direct connection to therapy… and they have every right to move on and quit and find another provider but I am so fragile and unstable right now. I can’t help but feel like they’re pulling the rug out from underneath me.
I’m crying in the bathroom at work. I can’t afford to lose this job so I have to get my shit together and get back out there.
Edit: I was right. My A money from freelancing is gone.