I can’t do it.
I can’t deal with his birthday – with the pressure. I was fine until they said something.
I don’t know where I went wrong. I’m trying to find it, what I missed, I’m looking for it and crying because I don’t know when the happy child I knew turned into the monster I know.
It’s fucked – that all I feel today is absence. The absence of what I knew. I am no longer a part of that codependent fucked up relationship circle that is my immediate family and they never cease to remind me what I left.
My father fat shamed me on my wedding day.
My mother guilt trips me into behaving a certain way.
And my brother..
I don’t know how I’m going to get through this night.