Okay, so I see A today. And a couple of cool things have happened since last week.
1) I’ve been able to feel connected to her despite not having contact outside of session. This is new, and it’s weird.
2) As long as I don’t let myself catastrophize the situation I trust that she is going to be there for me. And I trust that she is steering us in the right direction. This is also new, and also weird.
I feel like I lost most if not all of my last session in terms of the fact that I have no concrete memory of even being there last week. I have my blog post and a couple emails I wrote to Lu and others. But it’s like being hungover after a blackout night… I read those things and vaguely remember experiencing them, but I can’t remember doing them. I can’t access it. And that’s so bizarre.
I lost the session in my memory that left me feeling the most connected to my counselor. Has this ever happened to anyone else?