On my vacation, at a beach yoga session, the instructor offered to assist people into wheel pose (the full bridge). I hesitated. I don’t know this man, and yes his down-to-earth-ness and man bun and Sanskrit name and kind nature make him okay, plus there are other people in this class. But still, a stranger?
I eventually go with the flow, as the goal of this class is to connect with Hawaii’s Mana (it’s earth energy) and something in me decides to indicate that yes, I want the supported arch. He straddles my waist, helps me up, his hands supporting my lower back, and instructs me to breathe. Breathe into his hands, into this point in time. And in that moment (an amazing back stretch I needed after days of surfing and swimming and kayaking), he says to me something I didn’t know I needed to hear.
You see, the part of Hawaii I’m in is known for rainbows. And I’m currently in the shape of a rainbow, and I’m looking backwards and up at a rainbow. And he whispers, as if it’s just to me, “you, are a rainbow. You are made up of all your experiences. Past, present. What would a rainbow be if it was missing a colour? All of you makes current you. Your past is an adventurous biography of colour. What would you be, without it? What would you be, if you were missing a colour?”
And he lowered me to the ground and the whole class breathed together and I still can’t stop thinking about what it is he said. Of all the things I did on that island (helicoptering, surfing (a lot of that), snorkelling, hiking, kayaking) – that yoga class and unplugging have to be the most important.
I’m feeling kind of… normal. I see A tomorrow, and honestly, I’m not sure I need to see her. I am not sure I need to go back to things that I currently feel really at peace with. It’s been three weeks since I saw her last and while, yes, on the island I did miss her and think of her and wonder if she found her bike (it was stolen), I’m feeling really solid right now.
Of course I will go, but I think it’s going to be every other week for a while.
Anyway – that rainbow quote has stuck with me. I am all the colours of the rainbow because of where I’ve been and who I am. And what would a rainbow be without all it’s colours?