Before I start this post let me clarify that I’m not leaving A or our work together. But I’ve decided to introduce two more practitioners into my support mix, in an effort to really serve myself best.
Sal – Biodynamic Cranio-Sacral Therapy
I don’t know if I’ve spoken about R before, or the work we do together. She’s a trauma informed RMT. Our work together is massage and only massage, as a self care aspect, but she is also trauma informed. She’s on vacation right now and has a new sub, which is how I met Sal.
Sal is an RMT but also a biodynamic cranio-sacral therapist. I’ll save the details on exactly what that is for another post, but I had been looking for a way to incorporate body work and therapy together and settled on this method. I was looking for a practitioner when Sal dropped in my lap today.
Sal believes in all the things I do about autonomy and therapy and attachment and is super interested in birth stories and integrating with ourselves and believes generational trauma plays a huge impact on a life. Aka – we have the same belief system about all of this.
Most importantly I feel safe with Sal, and not judged, and like I’m not the only one who has gone down this journey. So, after discussing it today, I am going in to try cranio-sacral therapy on the 29th.
I knew I liked Sal when the standard “new person” introduction was different. Sal said “I know that I am not R, and I know trauma informed massage therapy with a new practitioner can feel overwhelming. I’m going to check in with you a lot, because if you’re disassociated at any point, I shouldn’t be touching you. Disassociated people can’t give consent. How does that sound?”
Finding A Family Therapist
There is a lot that is unresolved between my husband and my Mom. And my husband isn’t going to Christmas unless it’s discussed and my Mom is angry and hurt but neither of them will talk to the other without me present, for their own reasons.
I told my husband yesterday after a super intense conversation with my Mom and a really long night, that I think we need a neutral third party. I am not neutral and I am not capable of it in this situation. Immediately I thought of A, but my husband asked if I really wanted him and my Mom and their energy in that space that I’ve worked so hard to make safe for me.
And no, I don’t. I also don’t want to spend months with A going over this present day family stuff, when I’m there for a different reason.
So I’m on the hunt for a family therapist who is willing and able to take on a challenge such as this. Meeting with me, my Mom, and my husband, and assisting in the navigation of all of this.. stuff. A temporary person, who I’m not attached to, to get in the thick of it with me and help us out of this mess.
I’ll write more tonight, a lot has happened since yesterday, but this is two things I’m adding that I think will really help.