I have people, but I always feel so alone.

And I reach out to try to create that connection.

But it usually fails.

How do we get past this?


9 thoughts on “Lonely

  1. I feel so sad, reading your post and the reactions.

    I don’t know the answer to your question. I know I come to WP in part to find others who will understand my experience, so I can feel less alone. That puts a lot of weight on these virtual “conversations!” But I hope that the genuine outpouring of love you see here helps you feel a little less alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think lonely is one of the hardest feeling to contend with and I agree with what the others have said about it being trauma related. Sorry you’re feeling it but it does get better the more healing you do.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know how we get past this. I think, for me, it is twosome. First, as DV said, the connection doesn’t feel the way I expect it go in my head. Bea talks about trauma bonds and how that creates this intense connected feeling and how other relationships— healthy relationships— don’t have that same intensity and so the connection we make doesn’t feel strong enough……I hate it, but she may be right. She also talks about how we can never replicate the way those first connections we make (between parents and child) and sometimes young parts may be longing for a connection like that.

    The other thing I think is that we can reach out for others, but if we don’t open up to them, don’t let them see the real us, the anxiety or loneliness or whatever caused the reaching, we continue feeling alone.

    I think the alone feeling gets better, sort of filled in, over time as we heal. At least I hold it does, because it is a painful way to feel. Hang in there, PD. 💟xx

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I know what you mean. I think it is being in touch with that hole in our hearts that has been left empty for whatever reason is personal to us – for me I call it my “mother-shaped hole”. I think only through therapy and recovery can the pain lessen and not feel so raw. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t know. I don’t really have people, but even if I did, I think I would still feel it. I think because it’s a feeling that has been so strong and prevalent throughout my life. I hear a lot about reliving trauma, maybe loneliness is reliving trauma…our body remembering all that we experienced physically and/or emotionally and it feels as it did then. So I think as we continue to fight for and work towards healing, this will go away? I hope at least. I’m so sorry you feel lonely. I know it’s not true physical connection but I’ll sit in it with you here in hopes that you feel a little less alone.

    Liked by 4 people

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