Day Three

Well. It isn’t over yet, but I’m writing this as if I’ve made it all the way to the end of the day. Because the power of positive and successful thinking, right? 

I’m not sure today could have presented more challenges or stress if it tried (that is NOT a challenge, universe.)

I’m in the middle of quitting alcohol and going back to a healthier diet, work has been insane – I’m hiring, we are feeling overwhelmed even though there are more systems for things than ever before and I have more manpower than ever before. My freelance clients have ghosted but also seem to think I have an unlimited amount of time and energy and that I’ve suddenly turned into a web designer, there’s been a family emergency that had me worrying I would have to travel home (instead of worrying mostly about the person), A is about to head off on vacation, and to top it off this is a sample of the responses I got about quitting drinking today: 

“Does this mean we have to drink smoothies or something?”

“You’re fine, stop being ridiculous.”

“So now you’re not coming, why don’t you come to the bar and not drink. Why are you making this such a big deal?”

“Honestly, I think it’s a mistake. Moderate. Quitting isn’t going to help you” 

The last from Dave, which I think hurt the most.

For the record when people ask why I’m not, my answer is “my health” and if they inquire further it’s “because I’m using it to cope in an unhealthy way.” So it’s not like these people don’t have context.

And then a team error (my team) cost us a client. And I worked 11 hours today. 

I wanted to leave and have a happy hour wine at the local bar by myself, but I didn’t. I’m going home instead. I’m getting on the bus and going home. Where I will have tea and sit down for a bit before cleaning and taking care of some things I am not going to want to do tomorrow after counseling. 

Today was the most challenging day by far. 

But there were good things too. I got my fall vacation approved. I found the person I want to hire (please say yes!). I had three or four solid supporters among the dissenters of my alcohol quitting which made it a bit easier. I got a bonus for my referral employee passing her probation, and Dr. R called to tell me my pap was normal and there were no cancerous cells. So that’s good. That’s all good.

Hanging on to that.

May knock myself out with an Ativan tonight. We will see. 

I imagine tomorrow will be challenging too, but I’ve got this. 

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11 thoughts on “Day Three

  1. Wow, people, really? WTF? I completely agree with DV’s comment. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m glad you had some supporters in there though. Add me to the list šŸ’•
    You know why you got through the day? Because your other coping mechanisms are strong enough!!! That doesn’t mean it’s not hard, but CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is a big step ya know! šŸŽ‰šŸ’œšŸ˜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You do have this. I’m sorry that more people haven’t been supportive. This is your life and your choice, and you are making this choice for your health, not to upset the status quo of your relationships. You can do this. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Such a great job managing all those challenges with the choice to go home for tea! My pastor at church preached recently that when you decide to make a good choice for yourself (or to follow God…) always expect opposition. Those who oppose and dismiss your choice to make healthy decisions for yourself may not be the best people to surround yourself with in this moment. Choose your time with those ones very carefully and wisely. I think your responses to them were perfect, to the point, and honest. This is for your health and it has become an unhealthy coping mechanism. Yay you for seeing that and taking it by the horns to change it and feel/be better. You will do this, but not without the opposition somewhere. So if you expect it and have a plan to deflect it or avoid the challengers who don’t want to change themselves, you are just helping yourself that much more! And continue to look for the positives, that was so great! I have confidence and faith in you PD, great job today! šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘ŠšŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yay for the PAP smear results being good! But I’m angry at the people around you for being so unsupportive of your decision to quit drinking.
    *it’s your decision, and one you’ve thought very carefully about
    *it’s not a criticism of them or their drinking – you have not suddenly become the fun police
    *it’s difficult enough without them criticising or undermining your efforts
    *they need to back the hell off (and they’d be giving you gifts of some lovely flavoured teas if they had a single thoughtful bone in their bodies)

    Cheering from the sidelines here. You can do it!

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s made me so grateful for those who are being supportive. I also think Dave meant well but didn’t deliver over text – I think he thinks I can’t do it, and is worried about me being upset over that, or some crap like that.

      There’s a guy at work who doesn’t drink at all, because every man on his mother’s side of the family has been an abusive alcoholic and he’s been the MOST supportive.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. You do got this. Sounds like such a difficult day, and I am so proud of you for not drinking! I also like that you were able to find some positives too. And Dave’s comment, that shocked me. I thought he’d be more supportive.

    Liked by 2 people

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