Well. It isn’t over yet, but I’m writing this as if I’ve made it all the way to the end of the day. Because the power of positive and successful thinking, right?
I’m not sure today could have presented more challenges or stress if it tried (that is NOT a challenge, universe.)
I’m in the middle of quitting alcohol and going back to a healthier diet, work has been insane – I’m hiring, we are feeling overwhelmed even though there are more systems for things than ever before and I have more manpower than ever before. My freelance clients have ghosted but also seem to think I have an unlimited amount of time and energy and that I’ve suddenly turned into a web designer, there’s been a family emergency that had me worrying I would have to travel home (instead of worrying mostly about the person), A is about to head off on vacation, and to top it off this is a sample of the responses I got about quitting drinking today:
“Does this mean we have to drink smoothies or something?”
“You’re fine, stop being ridiculous.”
“So now you’re not coming, why don’t you come to the bar and not drink. Why are you making this such a big deal?”
“Honestly, I think it’s a mistake. Moderate. Quitting isn’t going to help you”
The last from Dave, which I think hurt the most.
For the record when people ask why I’m not, my answer is “my health” and if they inquire further it’s “because I’m using it to cope in an unhealthy way.” So it’s not like these people don’t have context.
And then a team error (my team) cost us a client. And I worked 11 hours today.
I wanted to leave and have a happy hour wine at the local bar by myself, but I didn’t. I’m going home instead. I’m getting on the bus and going home. Where I will have tea and sit down for a bit before cleaning and taking care of some things I am not going to want to do tomorrow after counseling.
Today was the most challenging day by far.
But there were good things too. I got my fall vacation approved. I found the person I want to hire (please say yes!). I had three or four solid supporters among the dissenters of my alcohol quitting which made it a bit easier. I got a bonus for my referral employee passing her probation, and Dr. R called to tell me my pap was normal and there were no cancerous cells. So that’s good. That’s all good.
Hanging on to that.
May knock myself out with an Ativan tonight. We will see.
I imagine tomorrow will be challenging too, but I’ve got this.