Slowing down, decluttering

I burned my finger today. I was taking a pan out of the oven and then moved the glove to my non dominant hand to hold the pan while I flipped the sausages. 

But instead of putting the oven mitt on, I just used it like a cloth and my skin on my second finger came into contact with a burning hot pan. I cried – I used to work in a kitchen, burns aren’t new to me, but what I was surprised at was my husband didn’t ask if I was okay. 

(For the record, he did ask, I apparently didn’t hear him, so he waited for me not wanting to pester him. Then by the time he asked again I was in the middle of an emotional flashback and too upset to be rational).

All I remember feeling is “I’m hurt and nobody is here for me” and this attachment pain just coming up from deep inside of me. And then I was thrown off. And then I picked fights. And I was SO overwhelmed by everything. 

I’ve decided I have to slow down. These emotional flashbacks and displays are too hard to control while also trying to be on a diet and change these habits and run a business. I’m sticking with the clients I have while slowly building my website, I’m working on saving money, and I’m done subscribing to so many things.

I’m going to spend more time just being and trying to figure this out. 

PS – That unexpected attachment pain emotional flashback? Attachment pain is the worst pain. 

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5 thoughts on “Slowing down, decluttering

  1. I’m so glad i read this. It reminds me i really need to slow down too. I really do. I was having a flashback during a seizure and i wrote a poem somewhere on my blog the last few days. Just the seizure brought back this…is anyone going to see me, save me? Awful.
    I’m sorry you burned yourself and that it cause flashbacks. I hope you are feeling better.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry you got burned – ouch! But I know the attachment pain, the trigger, is even worse. I think it’s great that you recognize what happened – that you were triggered. That’s progress.
    I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I’m sending a hug. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

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