Still Here, Still Turtling

I’m still here. I’m still turtling, protecting myself. I’m stil okay. I’m still seeing A (saw her today and now she’s gone again for 2 weeks).

I still feel incredibly worn out. I’m still grieving. Attachment pain is still the worst pain. And I’m still wondering how much longer I can do therapy like this.

But I also know how far I’ve come and where I get to go and that I’ve been in spots I never thought I would make it through before, and I did.

So one day at a time, one step at a time, one hard cry at a time.

So I’m still here, I’m still (relatively speaking) okay. I still don’t feel like writing. But I’m around.

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11 thoughts on “Still Here, Still Turtling

  1. I’m glad you are still here, and still okay (but not really okay). I’m sorry you are still hurting, and that things are so tough. You are doing really good though. Keep remembering where this journey is taking you, and don’t give up. Sometimes just getting through it and sitting with it all is the hardest work. Xx💟

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think there’s a lot to be said for having some sessions where you’re not working hard on a big issue, but just “being there”. That’s actually a hard skill to learn if your life has been filled with drama and conflict.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m glad you’re still here and are doing as well as you possibly can be doing at this moment. I can imagine how difficult this is, and I know that what I’m about to say next is easy for me to say because I’m not in your shoes. But please try and stick with the process. I know I came to your blog kind of late in the game, but I can see how far you’ve progressed even when it hasn’t been easy. You WILL come out the other side, Everyone here, including me, has faith in you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Millie. I really appreciate this. So much. I have told myself I’m sticking to counselling until at least December. Even if I go in and say nothing. I promised myself this was a year of healing. No quitting over here – but it’s SO nice to read the encouragement as well. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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